Bird As Fish

What he did wasn’t right. And that had never dawned on me before. It wasn’t right. All my life, trying to live the consequences, but in the end, it comes down to the fact that it just wasn’t right. It’s okay because I’m in the right. It’s not my fault, it has nothing to do with me. It wasn’t my fault but I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. I’ll make it, because it wasn’t my fault, and it wasn’t right. What they did wasn’t right either. Oh such a relief. It wasn’t right. I have someone on my side. Finally, it isn’t just me against the rest of the world – it wasn’t right. It wasn’t right. My dad and his moods, it wasn’t right. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t anything that I did. The sex wasn’t right. I wish someone else would come to me and say that, just that, “It wasn’t right. I’m on your side. It wasn’t your fault.” I wouldn’t have to fight and fight and struggle and strive just like someone tied up with ropes and thrown away. And this knot in my stomach would disappear, and this constant clenching would dissipate like sugar into water and I could look into a man’s eyes without shaking.

©2004 All Rights Reserved MJ Jackson
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