Bird As Fish

All the spaces here now remind me
Of everything I've lost

I'm lost.

My girlfriend moved out today. She gave me a hug as she left with furniture, and all the space she other wise occupied. She left with all the love that we used to fill up the space. She left without a backwards glance, with just a single tear in her eye. She left with space, which is now a black hole. I'm afraid to stand in the space she left behind. God, I suppose it's really over now. She took the bed we fucked in, and that I'm glad of. I haven't been able to sleep in it since... I'll get a new one, and then hopefully I'll be able to sleep in the bedroom that I've shut up ever since she left.

What I want most of all is to know what's left of my heart. I'm crying so loudly, I'm sure my downstairs neighbor can hear. But I don't care. She left all this pain behind - these memories of such sweet times as I've never had in my entire life. Did she ever mean it? I've been crying for two hours. I can't seem to stop. I have all these pictures of when we first moved in together with such high hopes, with such love in our hearts. And now, that's all I'm left with - sweet pictures and empty spaces, and not even a glance behind to say good bye.

Now I am formless and empty, darkness is over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God is hovering over the waters.