Bird As Fish

All the spaces here now remind me
Of everything I've lost

I'm lost.

My girlfriend moved out today. She gave me a hug as she left with furniture, and all the space she other wise occupied. She left with all the love that we used to fill up the space. She left without a backwards glance, with just a single tear in her eye. She left with space, which is now a black hole. I'm afraid to stand in the space she left behind. God, I suppose it's really over now. She took the bed we fucked in, and that I'm glad of. I haven't been able to sleep in it since... I'll get a new one, and then hopefully I'll be able to sleep in the bedroom that I've shut up ever since she left.

What I want most of all is to know what's left of my heart. I'm crying so loudly, I'm sure my downstairs neighbor can hear. But I don't care. She left all this pain behind - these memories of such sweet times as I've never had in my entire life. Did she ever mean it? I've been crying for two hours. I can't seem to stop. I have all these pictures of when we first moved in together with such high hopes, with such love in our hearts. And now, that's all I'm left with - sweet pictures and empty spaces, and not even a glance behind to say good bye.

Now I am formless and empty, darkness is over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God is hovering over the waters.

Why don't you get up out of this old place?
It just holds you down
Memories of yesterday just cloud your face
They just hold you down.

Would you rather watch the world go by?
The wild, wild world, baby.
Would you rather watch the whole wild world go by?
This wild, wild world, baby.

Darling, I know the world stopped for just a little while
But we're all waiting for you
You've got your whole life to live, baby.
And we're all waiting for you.

Even though this life is shitty
Even though it throws me for a loop
Every year or two

I got strawberries in my orange juice instead of some icecubes
I got a little apartment to call my own
I got candles all around
I got little grey kitty
And I still got my soul.

I still got the melody that lives within my soul
I still got the music that pervades me,
The harmony that surrounds me,
The rhythm that controls me,
The beauty I see in everything.


I still got my laugh
Still got my smile
Still got the melody within my soul.

And I got strawberries in my orange juice.
Still got the goodness that fills me up.