Bird As Fish

Well, I work at the front desk of a hotel. There is someone at there twenty four hours a day. We are the hub of the hotel wheel so to speak. We smile at everyone, regardless of whether or not they are customers, and they come to us and tell us their woes. Understandably, therefore, we come to know a lot about pretty much everyone. It is also understandable if, to cheer others up we tell a few choice details about a particularly woeful person's troubles, you know, to let them know that their life isn't that bad.

No, really, it's a terrible habit. It's called Gossip, and it's something that sadly, even I, the soul of descretion, have picked up. The other day, a little situation made me realize how bad it's gotten. I had just come on shift when I detected a terrible burning smell. I talked to the boss, but he just mumbled and turned back to his work. I therefore assumed that it was not an emergency, and went about my business, shaking my nose at the increasingly terrible smell. People walked by and, as if I coudn't smell it myself, told me that there was a horrible burning in the air. "Yes" said I, "It's being taken care of", sounding very much like a failing airplane's stewardess. In the next few minutes, the accountant walked to the front desk, talking to the catering manager, keeping her voice down so the front desk staff wouldn't actually know what was going on, she said, and I heard her quite clearly, "It is the rats in housekeeping. They were burning." Well, said I, this is quite extraordinary news! The rats in housekeeping! How disgusting. The first thought in my head was, I can talk to the other underlings around me, and tell them what a dungeon this is (we delight in mocking the place). I told the other girl at the front desk in secretive, salacious tones what we were actually breathing in. She quickly set out for home. The porter came to the front for his keys. "Hey," I said, keeping an eye out for any admin in the area, "you know what that burning smell is?" He shrugged, and looked at me curiously, obviously not expecting the shocking answer which I quickly delivered to him. He looked like he was going to be sick. I told him not to spread it around as he left for less fragrant territory. I thus walked alone around the front desk with a strutting air. They didn't want me to find out, but I did. I found out about those rats that they'd tried to keep a secret. The proletariat will prevail! Feeling pretty self righteous, I watched my boss and the banquet manager out of the corner of my eye. They began to comment on the smell and on how the rags in housekeeping got set on fire in the first place.

I looked around and hoped no one saw me hiding behind the desk.

So, don't gossip.

©2004 All Rights Reserved MJ Jackson
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