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Sunday, November 16, 2003
*My First Tube Ride
When I woke up, I wasn't sure if it was a dream. It was a sublimely happy feeling with undercurrants of exhaustion, but much too organized in thought and chronology to have been an early morning concoction of my still-sleeping brain.
In a trip to the big city for a family function, I begged to be able to go and visit my two good friends downtown. A sense of adventure seized me and I was spirited away down the subway [my first trip ever in the tube]. It rumbled and roared along, light after subway light passing in a second and suddenly emerging into urban nightlights and just as quickly back underground. When I stepped off, I looked for my friend who was going to meet me, but he wasn't there. There was someone who looked like him, but was walking on crutches. I approached, and lo and behold, it was him. He had a misplaced tendon or something of that sort. We embraced happily and he took me back through the night life of this urban big city, busy.
At his apartment, I was greeted by his three crazy roommates, one of which I know very well. He looked very happy to see me. Maybe he was lonely for people from home. He had grown a gotee. That made me so happy to see him so happy. They kept me entertained for a while with authentic fantasy swords [which they used to punish each other into doing the dishes], lego [some of which had real hair - I shuddered, so should you. Any plastic building block with real hair strands should be avoided at all cost. And he built buildings with actual bathrooms, [although the glass doors on that caused a few raised eyebrows]], and lemonade. While in the kitchen [all the counters were filled with dirty dishes], I got a look at what was actually in the cupboard. They, I saw were typical college students. They had a shelf for peanut butter, a shelf for ramen noodles, a shelf for Kraft Dinner [see previous post], and a shelf for spices [They were so proud of their cumin. Can you believe it, they actually had cumin in the house along with salt, pepper and dried parsley!] They wouldn't let me go home alone, so the guy who came to get me went to deliver me home again [even against my most insistant protests]. He talked to me on the subway, but really, I have no idea what he said. He talked for half an hour, and I don't have a recollection of a single thing, except for the fact that about half the way home, his face began to blur and twist. I had a brief thought that if I had to do this for the rest of my life, this would be the very definition of hell - stops and jolts, people expecting you to listen to them, and that annoying "ding, ding ding" of the door closing every two minutes, when all you wanted was to sleep. But it only briefly passed through my mind. Then we got off the subway and I was cold, and he made me take his coat.
When I stubbornly refused it, he told me I was too independent, that I would never take anything from anyone, if I could help it at all. I knew it was true, but how could I describe that horrible sinking feeling I get in my stomach when I do, when I can't do things for myself. Maybe it was pride, maybe it is horrible pride. Then he told me that I was commanding and authoritative. I disagreed and then realized it was true. I don't take any guff, if that's what he meant, on my part, but I am just afraid of being taken advantage of, I don't actually want to be that way. I insult and point out other's errors, jokingly, [but I think my newly goteed friend takes offense and hurt at my jests], but that is just because I don't have anything else to say. I wish I wasn't that way. Maybe you think that this conversation would make me feel bad, but it actually made me euphorically happy that someone noticed something about me, that someone had a conversation that was solely about me.
We walked home in the gentle rain, and in my happiness [he knew something bad about me, but liked me anyway and still enjoyed my company [he has a girlfriend, so it's not like that, but just in a friendship way]] and in my exhaustion [two ten hour days on your feet and next to no sleep will do that to you], I leaned over and gave him a hug of my own volition. Happiness, happiness, tired happiness. Seeing friends, subways lights, rain, lemonade, smiles and laughs. One of the best days of my life.
© 2003 All rights reserved MJ Jackson
No part of this article may be reproduced without the permission of the author.
In a trip to the big city for a family function, I begged to be able to go and visit my two good friends downtown. A sense of adventure seized me and I was spirited away down the subway [my first trip ever in the tube]. It rumbled and roared along, light after subway light passing in a second and suddenly emerging into urban nightlights and just as quickly back underground. When I stepped off, I looked for my friend who was going to meet me, but he wasn't there. There was someone who looked like him, but was walking on crutches. I approached, and lo and behold, it was him. He had a misplaced tendon or something of that sort. We embraced happily and he took me back through the night life of this urban big city, busy.
At his apartment, I was greeted by his three crazy roommates, one of which I know very well. He looked very happy to see me. Maybe he was lonely for people from home. He had grown a gotee. That made me so happy to see him so happy. They kept me entertained for a while with authentic fantasy swords [which they used to punish each other into doing the dishes], lego [some of which had real hair - I shuddered, so should you. Any plastic building block with real hair strands should be avoided at all cost. And he built buildings with actual bathrooms, [although the glass doors on that caused a few raised eyebrows]], and lemonade. While in the kitchen [all the counters were filled with dirty dishes], I got a look at what was actually in the cupboard. They, I saw were typical college students. They had a shelf for peanut butter, a shelf for ramen noodles, a shelf for Kraft Dinner [see previous post], and a shelf for spices [They were so proud of their cumin. Can you believe it, they actually had cumin in the house along with salt, pepper and dried parsley!] They wouldn't let me go home alone, so the guy who came to get me went to deliver me home again [even against my most insistant protests]. He talked to me on the subway, but really, I have no idea what he said. He talked for half an hour, and I don't have a recollection of a single thing, except for the fact that about half the way home, his face began to blur and twist. I had a brief thought that if I had to do this for the rest of my life, this would be the very definition of hell - stops and jolts, people expecting you to listen to them, and that annoying "ding, ding ding" of the door closing every two minutes, when all you wanted was to sleep. But it only briefly passed through my mind. Then we got off the subway and I was cold, and he made me take his coat.
When I stubbornly refused it, he told me I was too independent, that I would never take anything from anyone, if I could help it at all. I knew it was true, but how could I describe that horrible sinking feeling I get in my stomach when I do, when I can't do things for myself. Maybe it was pride, maybe it is horrible pride. Then he told me that I was commanding and authoritative. I disagreed and then realized it was true. I don't take any guff, if that's what he meant, on my part, but I am just afraid of being taken advantage of, I don't actually want to be that way. I insult and point out other's errors, jokingly, [but I think my newly goteed friend takes offense and hurt at my jests], but that is just because I don't have anything else to say. I wish I wasn't that way. Maybe you think that this conversation would make me feel bad, but it actually made me euphorically happy that someone noticed something about me, that someone had a conversation that was solely about me.
We walked home in the gentle rain, and in my happiness [he knew something bad about me, but liked me anyway and still enjoyed my company [he has a girlfriend, so it's not like that, but just in a friendship way]] and in my exhaustion [two ten hour days on your feet and next to no sleep will do that to you], I leaned over and gave him a hug of my own volition. Happiness, happiness, tired happiness. Seeing friends, subways lights, rain, lemonade, smiles and laughs. One of the best days of my life.
© 2003 All rights reserved MJ Jackson
No part of this article may be reproduced without the permission of the author.
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